Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize