I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think people are normalizing furries
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Randomize
