Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
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