I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
