3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
