She's JV to your varsity
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize