This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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