Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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