He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
