found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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