so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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