I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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