Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
