i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
