me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Randomize
