Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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