so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I just found a bag of teeth...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
