Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
