Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
