meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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