I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
