dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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