Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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