hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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