is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
