Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
