By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
