Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
