So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
