Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize