Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
