with your own penis?
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
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