My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
