my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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