Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
