i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
