farters have to be the big spoon...
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
