I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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