i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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