all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
