Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
