Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
