I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
