In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
