who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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