Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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