sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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