I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
