my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
