why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
