after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
