i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
