first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Randomize
