these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
