Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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