The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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