There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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