i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
