Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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