I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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