Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
