How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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