he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
